Live and Let Live

I'm not an uncaring person. I just don't get hung up certain, specific things the way some other people do. I often come off as failing to notice these things entirely, though I am not - I notice things, it's just that some things other people would treat as being of paramount importance, I treat as inconsequential.

Example: Skin color. I simply do not notice it. It is a non-issue. I will do everything in my power to avoid judging a person, for good or ill, based on their skin color. The way I see it, giving a person extra attention and accolades based on the color of their skin is just as bad as denying them attention or accolades based on the color of their skin. Either way, you are pointing out the difference - a difference they have no control over, a difference that is not necessarily part of whatever achievement you are celebrating or crime you are condoning - and basing your judgement, at least in part, on that difference. That factor of the person that is simply a part of who they are, and not always part of who they choose to be.

Now, this belief - this seeming ennui (it isn't. It's a conscious and constant choice) - does have its limits. If a person who should have, by all rights, fallen victim to certain stereotypes forced on them by society's constant need to point out the difference, has instead risen above these stereotypes in such a way they consider an accomplishment, then I will support this. A Mexican kid who grows up "on the wrong side of the tracks," moving away from a very real wrong path and onto a very real productive one deserves a bit of applause, if he wants it. If that same kid chooses the "wrong path," well, that isn't necessarily something I will immediately condone him for. But in either case, if skin color wasn't a factor in all this to him, then it won't be to me.

Second example: Sexual orientation. I have heard otherwise-intelligent people say things like, "How cool is it that so-and-so is gay?" This statement, and all statements like it, bug the jolly crap outta me. Would you ever meet a person and tell them you thought it was cool they were black?

"Hey, guy in a room full of white people! I think it's really cool that you're black."

"Thanks ..?"

I mean, sure, again: if the black dude overcame some bullshit tossed on him by society because of his skin color, and that comes up in the exchange, then kudos are certainly in order. But how often does this stuff come up in social situations? Really?

Seriously, you wanna know the key to equal treatment for all people? Stop classifying them. It ain't hard. Let people be people. Not black people, not gay people, just people. Sure, I get that people like to celebrate their differences from others. And they should. They should also accept that humans have a nasty trait of not really liking anyone they perceive as too different from themselves. I won't tell a person to not celebrate what makes them different from others; if that difference is one I agree with, I might join in. Might. I might also take the extreme road of my personal belief, and just let you be whatever you are. No offense intended, but I honestly also feel that many people seeking "equal treatment" are more often actually seeking "preferential treatment." It sometimes clouds how I view things. For good or ill, most often in my mind, people are just people. Sorry. I guess.

But think about it: If you were gay, how would you feel about one of your friends always introducing you to new people as their "gay friend?" Seems like it might get old. At the same time, how would you feel if you knew a gay person who was always pointing out the fact that they're gay, even when they're not asked, in a way that makes them seem like they think they're better than everyone else for it?

Sure, "Oh, actually, dude, this is pertinent to the situation at hand: I'm gay." That's one thing, perfectly acceptable."I'm gay as hell and proud of it!" after a few drinks? Also acceptable. The constant announcement of being gay, seeming like it's just being tossed out there for attention? No one likes an attention whore, kinda lame. Lame like constantly introducing your gay friend as your gay friend, as if that has some impact on your friendship with that person. Would you not be their friend if they weren't gay? Have you something against straight people? You sound lame.

People need to just be people. If you wanna celebrate your differences, go for it. But never assume to celebrate another person's difference for them. And I personally would rather judge a person by their deeds, not by their difference, for good or ill, at all times. Yeah, I'm down for a drink in honor of gay marriage when that finally happens (and I do think it should). And, initially, that victory will be a factor in the celebrating of any gay weddings I happen to attend. But the sooner gay weddings stop being gay weddings, and become just weddings, the happier I'll be for humanity. If one of my male friends has a boyfriend, I'd sooner describe them as a couple than I would a gay couple.

Live and let live involves a lot of just letting people be, one way or another.